As a coach, you would think I would have my sh*t together! Well, in actual fact I don’t, but success is something that I know I engineer.
I have done a lot of personal development work that means I can get myself back on track very quickly when I have set backs, but sometimes it really takes someone else to highlight the areas that are in shadow. You know the day to day stuff that slips by unnoticed?
Things like your relationship with your partner.
When you’re in business for yourself you focus so much on your big vision that you can forget to give some attention to the present moment and the people that matter most.
Maybe this has happened for you and a close relationship? Perhaps you’re like ships that pass in the night, not making eye contact and you wonder how you got there. It’s not like the relationship is in trouble but sometimes you get so focused on one thing that you take other things for granted.
I had a conversation with the amazing coach, John P Morgan, about this very thing – how we must remember that we are the architects of our lives and that things don’t ‘just happen’. Things happen because we either pay attention to it, or we don’t.
Thoughts and Words
It’s about how we use our thoughts and words and how that shapes our reality. It’s a conscious decision that we control.
This is a concept I am very aware of but for some reason I had not considered how I create the reality of my relationships. Not just with my husband, but the daily interactions I have with people in real life and online.
So, if you aren’t sure what I mean by ‘our thoughts and words create our reality’ let me explain.
If we tell ourselves we can’t do something over and over, we are likely to believe it and don’t achieve the goal, because we have conditioned our mind to accept this belief. However if you put in place a ‘positive belief’ you begin to see opportunities that allow you move towards the outcome you desire so that you can excel and succeed.
As an example, you probably know I used to be an actress (read more about it here). I was up for an audition for a small part in Emmerdale and it was a role I just knew I could do. I researched the role, knew everything about the situation the character was in and just believed the part was mine, because I knew I was perfect for it.
I went into the audition with such a high vibrational energy, and read for the part with such conviction that I knew it was impossible for me NOT to get the part. On my way home in the car, I visualised myself getting the part, turning up on set and just ‘being’ the character. Before I even turned off the motorway to my home, my agent called me to tell me I got the part.
That was my first television role.
I know I created that reality. I made it happen.
The power to change your reality
When it comes to the challenges in our lives, the same concept applies. If you find yourself in a situation that you find a struggle or challenge, ask yourself: How did I create this?
It’s not about taking the blame for something, it’s about taking ownership and allowing yourself to believe that you control the situation. You CAN control AND change it, because you control your thoughts and words.
Don’t pass the blame to someone else either. Take responsibility. If you don’t like how a certain situation is panning out, do something about it.
Ask yourself: What can I do? How can I change it?
I now use these exact same principles to create a more balanced home life – with attention in the right areas. And you know what? This in turn affects how I show up in my business. It also allows me to bring the right energy to the right places – where it matters most.
How will you create your reality? Let me know in the comments below.