Does the title seem weird to you?
When I was getting inspiration for this article, I thought it seemed an odd concept to have a love hate relationship with creativity.
What does that actually mean?
Since my last article, I have been considering what it means to ‘label’ myself as a writer. It feels good to say and it aligns with who I am as well as my integrity. BUT being a writer requires discipline.
There’s an idea that doing something you love would and should come easily, or so it seems. And yet the fact is, for me anyway, is that sometimes it takes all the willpower under the sun for me to sit down and actually write an article. Which strikes me as a bit odd, if I declare that writing is part of my self expression and creativity.
Surely that all should come naturally and that I would find it easy and exciting to sit down and write? However, I have realised what this is. A love/hate relationship.
When I start writing I get in the flow. I don’t plan my content, I just write as though I would speak, allowing my stream of consciousness to pour onto the page. Yes, I do go back and edit mostly (there are times I don’t, but that would be intentional for that instance) but I’m not meticulous in research or structure so I do see it as my form of expression. And I LOVE it.
Writing, once I am in flow, feels like home. Much the same as when I was an actress. When I was in character and on stage, I loved EVERY MINUTE – and yet that moment before stepping on the stage was terrifying. I wanted to run and yet still I was compelled to do it.
It’s the same with writing. Sometimes I find it so hard to do it that I end up writing everything last minute – but only because I have made the commitment to publish an article each week, otherwise I might actually just decide to bury my head in my work.
So, I have realised this love/hate relationship is okay. I felt it when I was an actress – when I was ‘expressing myself’ through character AND ‘being creative’ by the mere act of performing. And this new awareness that I also feel it with writing makes me think that actually, this is where it is for me. Writing. It’s the next step in my evolution. My nod to my acting past and a leap into the future of what might be.
I had doubts this week that perhaps I’m not actually a writer because I feel this ‘dragging of heels‘ when the publish day looms, but I now realise it’s part of the process.
I don’t want to get all up in the tortured artist martyrdom but I can either view it as ‘woe is me poor soul’, or I can see it for what it is. A love/ hate relationship.
Now, this is where it gets exciting (or terrifying).
I believe it’s not just about commitment but it’s also about habit, so I have decided I want to create a better habit of writing. A daily habit (holy crap – did I really just put that out into the universe?).
Yes, I am challenging myself to a daily writing habit for the next month. But, hold your horses, I’m giving myself a little space – I will write daily Monday to Friday, because you know I am a mother and a wife and a business owner etc etc – so high five all of you juggling all your roles in life too because I will need my weekends for that stuff.
I will post Monday to Friday for four weeks. There. It is said.
My intention is to share a short story. I will TRY my hardest not to write about my kids too much – because god knows I don’t want to be a mummy blogger (not saying anything about mummy blogs, but I really am not that much of a natural mother!).
I don’t know where this will lead, or what it will entail, but it’s a start to my ‘kind-of-daily’ writing habit. I will be sharing it on my Facebook page, on my personal profile and once a week I will round up my posts on my weekly email to my subscribers – so if reading my blog posts interests you, but you don’t want to check back here every day, then get on my list and you will get an email with links to the posts once a week, put your best email in the box below!
Here’s to my commitment! *clink* (that’s champagne flutes clinking in a cheers if you didn’t know!).