When coaching was my main business, I liked to talk to my clients about the insidious nature of doubt.
If you think of a scale, what would be on the opposite end of doubt?
When we are in total belief of something there is no doubt, however we can find ourselves inching towards the other end when we start to lose the faith. When we start to lose belief.
So even though I like to write about balance, in this case the best space to inhabit is the end of the scale where belief lies.
I see this scale as either the doubt pulling at you or the belief leaving you and a number of things can play into this.
My personal sabotage is also one of my strengths. I like to question, I am curious and want to know more – whether to inform myself for better decision making, or just because I am a nosey mofo – because deep down I believe knowledge is power!
But with questioning comes pushing the integrity of an idea, thought or decision which starts to erode the stability that belief creates. So with that, I end up doubting.
Doubt is an interesting concept to think about because, I have the occasional bouts of lack of faith in myself but, deep down I do seem to have an unshakeable faith in myself.
I think this was instilled in me from when I was young because my dad always said to me never to give a shit about what people think of you – mainly because …
1. you can’t really control that (unless you’re a complete arse)
2. why would you try to mould yourself to be liked by everyone and therefore shun your natural state of ‘being you’ and
3. the people who really ‘matter’ love you for who you are anyway.
So even though I was shy, this was one of the ‘beliefs’ that I was brought up with which gave me the confidence to apply to drama school, come out of my shell and start being creative by expressing myself.
The doubt that often pulls me on the this ‘scale’ I talked about before however, is the doubts of knowing which way to turn, if the path I am on is the right one, or am I doing the right thing? – which often gives me a sense of continually looking to the future rather than being and enjoying the present moment.
So even though I do believe in myself, there can still be doubts. This can sometimes get me in a tail spin, and how I return myself to my ‘powerful self’ (said in a superhero voice) is to remember that I do have this underlying faith in myself, which is and should be the guiding force at all times.
When you believe in yourself fully, doubt has nowhere to sit and warm itself by your fire.
You are a powerful being. You DO know the right decisions to make (for you, in the here and now – because you can only do that within the given moment) and there are no mistakes. Each turn you take on the path of life will lead you to the next thing. It is inevitable.
And there endeth my esoteric thoughts for today.